Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize