dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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