Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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