I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
