apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize