btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
They took my balls.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
