Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You don't make any sense
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