Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
