I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
