I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
