if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
