R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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