I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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