One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
