thus making me awesome and them whores
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize