No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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