ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
