ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I touched a dick in church today
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
