its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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