I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
