How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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