Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I am available for nakedness
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
