Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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