I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
