Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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