its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
