i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You can't just leave with hair like that
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
