i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
