I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
