WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize