oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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