She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
