I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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