i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
