We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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