I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
