please come you make the beer taste better
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
