we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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