if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
