drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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