shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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