Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
