Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
