I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize
