i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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