my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
