I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
