I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
