what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
