her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize