i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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