then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
