her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I miss vodka workout Fridays
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
