if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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