Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize