There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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