I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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