You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize