Me too!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
