I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
