Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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