Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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