Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
