So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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