Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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