Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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