the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
As shirtless as possible
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
