Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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