He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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