Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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